Virtual Museum

The Realistic Mustache Company’s history is a rich one, full of wonderful stories, amazing anecdotes, and festering bed sores. Thanks to our unpaid assistant (and illegal immigrant) of the last 32 years, Conchita Ramos, we have an extensive library of RMC artifacts dating back to our earliest days, which includes everything from early advertisements to product samples to restraining orders.

Please feel free to take a virtual “tour” through our online “museum” below, and “join” us in “celebrating” the “amazing” “story” “of” “The Little Company That is a Company.”

The noted argylist, somnambulist and false moustache collector (he reportedly owned more than 7000!) J.P. Hotchkiss is featured in one of our very first advertisements, from the May 1912 edition of “His Lovely Penned Contrivances Weekly” magazine.
For a brief period during the 1920′s, RMC became involved in the amusement park business, installing mustache-themed attractions throughout the South and Midwest. These ladies certainly look as if they enjoyed the experience!
In this ad, from a 1923 issue of “Junior’s Fanciful Fire-Brigade Quarterly,” the virtues of artificial lip hair are proclaimed. We’re not sure who the fellow pictured in the ad is, but many here claim that he’s none other than Abraham Lincoln. Could he be??
On February 14th, 1935—Veteran’s Day—Realistic M(o)ustache Co. founder Horatio Flan completed the erection of the world’s first fully operational brick-and-mortar website, a monumental task that took nearly 30 years of his life to complete…
…yet the following day, while baking a cake to celebrate his incredible achievement, a careless Flan accidentally burned his creation to the ground. Later that same evening he would discover what he referred to as the “magicaly (sic) curative properties” of alcohol.
Before becoming the worst human being in history, Adolf Hitler was a well-known purveyor of false mustaches and a regular customer of Realistic Mustache Co. Before settling on “The Stamp” (for which he’s best known) he wore “El Bandito” for a few months in 1938.
Before the launch of the world’s second lunar mission on November 14th, 1969, we asked the Apollo 12 crew to make ours the first false mustache to be worn on the moon. When they ignored our request we knew we had to take action, so we retouched this photo.
Back in the 70's tie-dye was "in," folks were cramming themselves into phonebooths and we ran this as for our portable 'Staches in pretty much every major magazine at the time—Good Housekeeping, Redbook, Soap Opera Digest, and of course, Ladies Home Journal.
Back in the mid-1970′s Sinatra was all the rage, Muhammad Ali was still called “Muhammad Ali,” folks were having sexual intercourse, and we ran this “groovy” ad in all the major magazines of the day, from “Good Housekeeping” to “Redbook,” and of course, “Ladies Home [...]
In May of 1985, RMC undertook what many called the impossible task of creating realistic false mustaches for pets. Unfortunately, the naysayers were right, and we ended the ill-fated project in late 1986. We honor the 276 dogs and cats that gave their lives for our testing.
Here at Realistic Mustache Co. we take great pride in having been recognized for excellence by the esteemed “The Association of False Facial Hair Industries” (TAoFFHI) over seventy-one times. Seventy-two times, in fact.
RMC friend Brad Felber of Detroit put in an unusual order in 2003. He asked us to make the world’s longest false mustache. We did, he wore it, and now he’s in the Guinness Book of World Records for having worn the longest false mustache ever—12.5 feet! Way to go, Brad!
Over the course of our 105-year history we’ve been proud to serve millions of average people, like you, as well as countless important ones. To everyone who’s helped make us the world’s #1 artificial face fur brand we’d like to say, “Be sure to look for us on [...]
old-ad ride fire-brigade-ad realistic-factory building-fire hitler apollo Back in the 70's tie-dye was "in," folks were cramming themselves into phonebooths and we ran this as for our portable 'Staches in pretty much every major magazine at the time—Good Housekeeping, Redbook, Soap Opera Digest, and of course, Ladies Home Journal. animals awards longest hof

19 comments on “Virtual Museum

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    • Thanks for your comments! And to answer your question, we’re only temporarily out of stock on the white handlebar mustaches. Our Chinese supplier of human facial hair is waiting for the next tier of “feeder children” to hit puberty. Thanks for your patience, and feel free to write us anytime!!

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