This Could Be Serious

“Doctors, I’m afraid the diagnosis is… MURDER! Just kidding. I think he has gall stones, but I’ve always wanted to say that.”

Family Reading

“In his latest coming of age novel, ‘Muscle Boy,’ author James L. Summers provides a poignant, yet ultimately cautionary, tale of a young man whose poor form in the deadlift leads to a lifetime of chronic lower back pain, and ultimately an infrequent dependence on Ibuprofen, hot compresses, and even chiropractic adjustments. This riveting drama should serve as a wakeup call to everyone who fails to bend at the knees when lifting a weight off the floor.”

– The New York Times Review of Books

Second Opinion

“You’re also ugly.”

Size Matters

It wasn’t that Toby didn’t love Juno. Hell, everyone knew that he did—big time. He loved her so much, in fact, that he even dressed like her! Yet there was always that one lingering matter, the one that—no matter how hard he tried to overlook it—kept cropping up, whether it was at restaurants, when shopping, or at amateur sporting events. It even creeped its way into their bedroom.

Despite his love for her, and their matching wardrobes, Toby Ambrose Godspeed simply could not overlook the disturbing fact that he was living with an 11-foot tall woman.

The Barbeque

Despite Peggy’s assertions, Barbara knew exactly what she was doing. With paper plate in hand, she sauntered over to Carl, who was doing a lousy job of pretending not to notice.

“I sure could go for a hot, juicy hunk of meat right about now,” she purred.

Suddenly Carl stopped flipping. Scanning Barbara’s ample gifts from lovely bottom to wondrous top, his eyes finally met hers. His lips parted slowly as a bead of sweat dripped
from his brow, and as the faintest of smiles creased the corners of his mouth he whispered,
“That’s what she said.”

Height Advantage

Maybe it didn’t make up for the 30+ years he’d endured as a 4-foot tall adult man, but the gig he scored as a model in ads for 8 – Ft. balloons at least put a smile on Doug’s tiny face.

Hoop Dreams

All his life he’d dreamed of one day making it to the NBA, and at 7′ tall he seemed born to be a center. Even his glow in the dark eyes could have served him well in the darker arenas. Yet weak ankles and a hole in the center of his forehead would forever keep his a dream deferred…

Grim Reality

It was a night neither of them would ever forget, and a morning after they both wished they could…

True Love?

Beyond the ugly blotches, the oily skins, the dry skins, blackheads, large pores, warts, moles and all other superficial ugly blemishes, Doug and Dot had something else in common: a passion for clipping newspaper advertisements.

Faker

Ok, so maybe Jack was faking that tooth infection, but you couldn’t blame him, could you? After all, old man Kravitz had kept him burning the midnight oil many a night when he should have been home, tucking the kids into bed.

Anyway, he needed a day off from the rat race, and lord knows the edible lingerie industry could certainly survive one day without the contributions of Jack Farner.

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