Tyler Durden, Jr.

The brown one fit okay, he supposed, but what Jimmy really had his eye on was the orange jacket. Yeah, that’s the one. That jacket, he decided, is the perfect color for anyone looking to start a club in which regular kids like him could fight bare-knuckle.

Light My Fire

Maybe it was because he didn’t want to hurt his feelings, or because he enjoyed the attention. Either way, Mel simply didn’t have the heart to tell Edgar that it was a candy cigarette.

Apology

Roger knew that Clarice would never forgive him for what he did. Yet he hoped in his heart of 5-chambered hearts that she might love him once again.

Query

Was it the hat? No, it couldn’t be! The mustache, perhaps? Impossible! But why then, was it that the ladies didn’t seem to fancy Chet the way his grandmother wished they would? Just then it struck him, like a long, hard bolt of lightning! Indeed, there was someone who could answer the question that has stumped him, his grandmother, his hairdresser, and all the members of his glee club for so long: He would ask Bob, his bed-mate!

This Could Be Serious

“Doctors, I’m afraid the diagnosis is… MURDER! Just kidding. I think he has gall stones, but I’ve always wanted to say that.”

Family Reading

“In his latest coming of age novel, ‘Muscle Boy,’ author James L. Summers provides a poignant, yet ultimately cautionary, tale of a young man whose poor form in the deadlift leads to a lifetime of chronic lower back pain, and ultimately an infrequent dependence on Ibuprofen, hot compresses, and even chiropractic adjustments. This riveting drama should serve as a wakeup call to everyone who fails to bend at the knees when lifting a weight off the floor.”

– The New York Times Review of Books

Second Opinion

“You’re also ugly.”

Size Matters

It wasn’t that Toby didn’t love Juno. Hell, everyone knew that he did—big time. He loved her so much, in fact, that he even dressed like her! Yet there was always that one lingering matter, the one that—no matter how hard he tried to overlook it—kept cropping up, whether it was at restaurants, when shopping, or at amateur sporting events. It even creeped its way into their bedroom.

Despite his love for her, and their matching wardrobes, Toby Ambrose Godspeed simply could not overlook the disturbing fact that he was living with an 11-foot tall woman.

The Barbeque

Despite Peggy’s assertions, Barbara knew exactly what she was doing. With paper plate in hand, she sauntered over to Carl, who was doing a lousy job of pretending not to notice.

“I sure could go for a hot, juicy hunk of meat right about now,” she purred.

Suddenly Carl stopped flipping. Scanning Barbara’s ample gifts from lovely bottom to wondrous top, his eyes finally met hers. His lips parted slowly as a bead of sweat dripped
from his brow, and as the faintest of smiles creased the corners of his mouth he whispered,
“That’s what she said.”

Height Advantage

Maybe it didn’t make up for the 30+ years he’d endured as a 4-foot tall adult man, but the gig he scored as a model in ads for 8 – Ft. balloons at least put a smile on Doug’s tiny face.

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