Size Matters
It wasn’t that Toby didn’t love Juno. Hell, everyone knew that he did—big time. He loved her so much, in fact, that he even dressed like her! Yet there was always that one lingering matter, the one that—no matter how hard he tried to overlook it—kept cropping up, whether it was at restaurants, when shopping, or at amateur sporting events. It even creeped its way into their bedroom.
Despite his love for her, and their matching wardrobes, Toby Ambrose Godspeed simply could not overlook the disturbing fact that he was living with an 11-foot tall woman.
The Barbeque
Despite Peggy’s assertions, Barbara knew exactly what she was doing. With paper plate in hand, she sauntered over to Carl, who was doing a lousy job of pretending not to notice.
“I sure could go for a hot, juicy hunk of meat right about now,” she purred.
Suddenly Carl stopped flipping. Scanning Barbara’s ample gifts from lovely bottom to wondrous top, his eyes finally met hers. His lips parted slowly as a bead of sweat dripped
from his brow, and as the faintest of smiles creased the corners of his mouth he whispered,
“That’s what she said.”
Height Advantage
Maybe it didn’t make up for the 30+ years he’d endured as a 4-foot tall adult man, but the gig he scored as a model in ads for 8 – Ft. balloons at least put a smile on Doug’s tiny face.
Hoop Dreams
All his life he’d dreamed of one day making it to the NBA, and at 7′ tall he seemed born to be a center. Even his glow in the dark eyes could have served him well in the darker arenas. Yet weak ankles and a hole in the center of his forehead would forever keep his a dream deferred…
Grim Reality
It was a night neither of them would ever forget, and a morning after they both wished they could…
True Love?
Beyond the ugly blotches, the oily skins, the dry skins, blackheads, large pores, warts, moles and all other superficial ugly blemishes, Doug and Dot had something else in common: a passion for clipping newspaper advertisements.
Faker
Ok, so maybe Jack was faking that tooth infection, but you couldn’t blame him, could you? After all, old man Kravitz had kept him burning the midnight oil many a night when he should have been home, tucking the kids into bed.
Anyway, he needed a day off from the rat race, and lord knows the edible lingerie industry could certainly survive one day without the contributions of Jack Farner.
Protocol
While the Scouts are renowned for their aptitude at tying knots, building campfires and survival, they’re less well known for an equally honed skill: burying their dead.
Happy Ladies
Suddenly, being solo didn’t matter quite as much to Pam and Irene anymore. After all, not only was it rubber-tipped, but synthetic too!
The Chorus
Oscar was beyond tired, and after four hours of rehearsing the showstopping kickline finale in full costume, he would have been happy never to see another satin football outfit for as long as he lived. But opening night was just a day away now, and he knew going in that it would take this level of suffering, of fatigue, of commitment, to finally become a Broadway dancer.
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